The End of Chapter One

Eternal King, I am but a breath; a shadow of a man; a shadow of what all you intended to be good and true- darkened- empty- hollow- fading into darkness as I sink into more of what I’ve become. Through my disobedience that grew out of my lack of trust in your character- in all you say you are by who you show yourself to be by your actions. I sit barely alive, lying at death’s gate shamed and ashamed. I’ve mocked you. I’ve trampled your Son. I’ve abused your love. You reside on the perfect side of the mirror, alive. I am less than a broken reflection, crushed by the weight of my own sin- separated from the one who loves me- by my own strength and poor decisions. In the hall, among all who I adore, I lie naked and shamefully exposed. The darkening light of life that once burned so brightly pales un-fanned, flickering away- ebbing to some sorrow an eternity away, never to return. Lord why did it take so long to be seen as I am now? Why did You keep me so clothed and warm? What is there inside me that wars against your love, that flees your sight? What is it within me so weak and yet so powerful to pull me down to the grave?

I stand at death’s gate and with the last remaining air in my lungs I speak your Name and fall to the ground, lifeless- my last attempt in this life to once again call on the One who is called Faithful, surrendering the frail dust of my corps, once life filled, into your essence- understanding that merely a glimmer of your mercy is enough to ignite a burning ember of hope. And so I lay hollow- empty- broken- my soul surrendered my eyes… dark- a man whose plans came to nothing; the last chapter of an unfinished book; the author, grieved by death’s true face, turns away to finish the masterpiece this previous story was meant to be. Life is more than just living and breathing: the choices we make, the actions we take, speak to which side of the grave we are living on. Choose, and choose wisely. Don’t be like me, don’t seal up heaven’s joys with doubt and fear to cling on to hell’s deceit. Shine noble, true, take this path less traveled by, you’ll see it makes more than a world of difference.

“As the Author of your life I’d like to add one last word. I don’t like unhappy endings. I don’t like to see my children hang on to the edge of death and finally drop off. I don’t like to see my son exchange hope for darkness- fear instead of trust in the one who breathed him life. So I add this final sentence to this book- ‘chapter one has ended; the main character of the story surrendered the pen of his life to the Author and He will write/right the wrongs and turn what was lifeless into life and blessing.’ Stay tuned… Turn the page… “